Sample eulogy for a friend

For those of you who don't know me, I'm Jen. Lisa and I have been friends since we were nineteen. That's thirty-two years. I want to start by saying something to Lisa's family. To Mark, to her kids, to her parents: I know I'm not family. But Lisa let me in further than most friends get, and standing here is one of the great honors of my life. Thank you. [pause] Lisa had a thing she would say when one of us was being ridiculous, which was often. She would sigh and say, "Okay, but here's what I think." Then she would lay out exactly what she thought, with no varnish, and she would be right. She did this for every friend in this room at one point or another. We all came back. We all came back because she was the friend who told you the truth. A story. When I was thirty-four, I almost left a marriage I shouldn't have left. Lisa drove ninety minutes to my apartment on a Tuesday night, sat on my couch, and listened for two hours without interrupting. At the end, she said, "Okay, but here's what I think." And what she thought was that I needed to stay one more month and have one specific conversation with my husband before I did anything else. I had that conversation. I'm still married. Mark and I just celebrated nineteen years. That was Lisa. She didn't fix you. She helped you see what you already knew. [speaker note: take a breath here] To everyone here from the book club, the Thursday morning walking group, and Lisa's job: keep showing up for each other. That's what she would want. That's what she was constantly doing. [pause] I want to end with this. Lisa wrote in a card to me, years ago, the line she lived by: "Show up. Then keep showing up." I'm going to keep showing up. For Mark. For the kids. For each of you. That's the friend she was. I want to be the friend she taught me to be. Lisa, I love you. Thank you for every Tuesday.