How to Write an Obituary

Why obituaries matter

An obituary is not just an announcement. It is often the only public record of a life that was lived in private. The grocery store clerk who remembered everyone's name, the grandfather who fixed bikes for the neighborhood kids, the aunt who hosted Thanksgiving for forty years: these people may never get a newspaper profile or a Wikipedia page. The obituary is the place where their life gets written down. Family members keep clippings in scrapbooks. Grandchildren find them online decades later. Genealogists rely on them to trace family trees. The few hundred words you write will outlive everyone who knew the person, and they will tell future generations who this person was.

What an obituary accomplishes

A finished obituary does three things at once. First, it shares information: name, age, dates, service details, surviving family. Second, it pays tribute: it gives a sense of who the person was beyond the facts. Third, it invites the community in: it tells people how to attend the service, where to send donations, and how to reach the family. When you sit down to write, keep all three in mind. A tribute without service details leaves the reader stuck. A list of facts without personality reads like a court filing. The best obituaries braid the three together into something that feels both informative and personal.

Free obituary template (fill-in-the-blank)

Use this fill-in-the-blank pattern as a starting point. Replace the bracketed text with the actual details. Adjust the order if it reads more naturally a different way. [Full name], [age], of [city, state], died on [date] at [location, optional cause]. [He/She/They] was born on [date] in [city, state] to [parents' names]. [He/She/They] graduated from [school] in [year] and [career or education summary in one sentence]. [Marriage sentence: He/She/They married [spouse name] on [date] in [city]. They were married for [years]]. [One concrete detail about how they spent their time: hobbies, volunteer work, the thing the neighbors knew them for]. [One sentence about personality or values, grounded in a specific behavior]. [He/She/They] is survived by [list of survivors with relationships]. [He/She/They] was preceded in death by [list]. A [service type] will be held on [date] at [time] at [location]. In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to [cause]. This pattern produces a standard 200 to 300 word obituary. Lengthen it by adding two or three more concrete details. Shorten it by removing the personality sentence and keeping only the facts.

Steps to write an obituary

A clear sequence to follow from the first blank page to the final submission.

1. Step 1.Gather the facts before you start writing

   Before you write a single sentence, collect the information in one place. You will need full legal name, including maiden name if applicable. Date and place of birth. Date and place of death. Parents' full names. Spouse, with marriage date and place. Children, with current cities. Siblings. Grandchildren and great-grandchildren, often counted rather than listed individually. Education and military service. Career, in one or two lines. Hobbies, volunteer work, and the things the person was known for around the house or in the neighborhood. Service details: date, time, location, officiant if known. Visitation details. Charitable donation information. A photo, ideally a recent one but a favorite one from any era works. Having this list in front of you means you will not get halfway through the obituary and stop to call your sister about Mom's high school graduation year.

   If you're writing for a specific relationship, our templates for a mother, a father, a grandparent, or a spouse include relationship-specific prompts to make this step easier.

2. Step 2.Choose the tone

   Tone matters more than length. A formal newspaper obituary uses third person, complete sentences, and a measured rhythm. It reads like a respectful announcement. A celebration-of-life style obituary, more common on funeral home sites and Facebook, can include humor, family nicknames, and the kind of detail you might share at a dinner table. Neither is wrong. Match the tone to the person and to where the obituary will appear. If your father was a quiet man who would have been embarrassed by sentimental language, write him a quieter obituary. If your aunt told dirty jokes at every family wedding, you can include a clean version of one. The voice should sound like the family, not like a generic funeral notice.

3. Step 3.Write the opening sentence

   The opening sentence is the hardest one. It carries the basic facts and sets the tone for everything that follows. The standard pattern is: full name, age, city and state of residence, date of death, and location of death. For example, "Margaret Ellen Whitfield, 84, of Cedar Falls, Iowa, died on March 12, 2025, at her home surrounded by her family." You do not have to follow this pattern, but it works for almost every situation. If the cause of death is something the family wants to include, add it after the location. If the death was sudden or after a long illness and you want to acknowledge that, this is the sentence where it goes. Keep the opening factual. The personal material comes next.

4. Step 4.Develop the body with concrete details

   Once the opening is set, build out the body. Most obituaries follow a rough chronology: birth and early life, education, career, marriage, family, retirement and later years, and a closing detail that captures who the person was. The single most important rule is specificity. Generic praise reads flat. Concrete detail brings the person to life. Instead of writing that your mother was a wonderful cook, mention the dish she was known for and the people who came over to eat it. Instead of writing that your father loved his work, name the company, the role, and the colleague who came to the funeral. The goal is not to list every job and hobby. It is to pick a few details that, taken together, sketch a recognizable person.

5. Step 5.List survivors and predeceased family

   The survivors section follows a standard format. List the surviving spouse first, then children, then grandchildren, then siblings, then nieces and nephews if relevant. Spell out the relationships clearly. For children and siblings, include current city and state and the name of their spouse in parentheses. For grandchildren and great-grandchildren, most obituaries just give the count rather than naming each one, unless the family wants to be inclusive. After the survivors, list those who preceded the person in death: parents, spouse if deceased, siblings, and any children who died before the parent. Confirm the spelling of every name with at least one other family member before you submit. Misspelled names in an obituary are the most common complaint families receive after the fact.

6. Step 6.Add service and donation details

   The service section tells readers how to be there. Include the date, time, and full address of the service. If there is a visitation or wake, include that too with its own date and time. If the burial or interment is private, say so. If donations are preferred over flowers, name the organization and include either a website or a mailing address. Some families add a line about a reception following the service. Check every detail twice: the wrong start time in an obituary is the kind of mistake that ripples out for years. If the obituary will be published before the service is finalized, you can submit a placeholder and update once the details are confirmed.

7. Step 7.Close with a character detail

   The final paragraph or sentence is your chance to leave the reader with a feeling rather than a fact. The simplest version is a one-line summary of what the person believed or how they treated people. A more vivid version names a specific thing the person did that captured who they were. A grandfather who always brought day-old donuts to his fishing buddies. A mother who answered the phone with the same warm "hello, sweetheart" for sixty years. A friend who wrote thank-you notes on the back of grocery receipts. Pick something small and specific. Avoid sweeping summaries like "she will be missed" or "his memory lives on" because they apply to anyone. The closing detail should be something only this person did.

8. Step 8.Edit out loud, then proofread

   Once the draft is done, read it out loud. This single step catches more problems than any spellchecker. You will hear repeated words, sentences that are too long, and phrases that sound stiff. Cut anything that sounds like it could appear in any obituary. Keep what sounds like the person you knew. After the read-aloud, send the draft to at least one other family member, ideally two. Have them check names, dates, and relationships. Have them flag anything that feels off. Then proofread one more time on paper if you can, or by changing the font or background color on the screen. Your eye fixes errors silently when you read familiar text on familiar formatting, so changing the look forces you to read what is actually there.

9. Step 9.Submit to the right places

   Decide where the obituary will appear. The funeral home website is almost always the easiest and free; they will post it for you. Local newspapers charge by the line, the column inch, or a flat fee, and they have their own submission portals and deadlines. National papers like the New York Times charge significantly more and require an editor review. Social media and memorial websites are free and reach the widest audience. The funeral home can usually handle newspaper submission on your behalf for a small coordination fee. Confirm the run date, the proof you will see before publication, and the total cost in writing before you approve.

Sample obituary

Obituary templates by relationship

Each template includes relationship-specific prompts, sample obituaries, and a fill-in-the-blank starting point.

• Obituary template for a mother

  Honor a mother's life with prompts tailored to her role in the family.

• Obituary template for a father

  A template for honoring a father's work, mentorship, and quiet legacy.

• Obituary template for a grandmother

  Capture a grandmother's warmth and the rituals her grandchildren will remember.

• Obituary template for a grandfather

  A template for the stories, work, and steadiness a grandfather leaves behind.

• Obituary template for a husband

  Tribute prompts for a husband, with space for the marriage and the family you built.

• Obituary template for a wife

  Honor a wife with prompts that hold both the partnership and her life outside of it.

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